


Do Souls Taste Good? (You Seem To Think So)

by Jungle321jungle



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Soul Eater
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, I add tags as i go, M/M, Soul Eater AU, Souls, no true romance but they def share some moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-24 22:47:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22465879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jungle321jungle/pseuds/Jungle321jungle
Summary: Souls taste like sugar, chew like stale gum, and go down like a rock only to dissolve into energy before they even hit the stomach. They're an acquired taste; one for murderers and kishin eggs and the demon weapons who take them down.Dee has eaten ninety nine of them, and chews them like bubble gum until the flavor is all gone; Roman's not had half as many, but he only gives them a few cursory chews out of habit; and his brother Remus doesn't even have a dozen, but he always licks them with a grin before popping it in his mouth and swallowing hard so that it's path down his throat is violently visible.They all think the souls taste too sickly sweet.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Kudos: 31





	1. Episode One: Matters of The Soul

**Episode One: Matters of The Soul**

  
  


“Number ninety-nine, congrats! How did your meeting with Lord Death go well?”

Virgil gave Patton a nod but Dee smiled proudly as he collapsed into his seat, “It did! And this time tomorrow I’ll be a full fledged Death Scythe.”

“I could get ninety nine souls,” Roman muttered into the air but hearing him only caused Dee’s excitement to rise. 

“Jealous are we?” He asked his sharp teeth exposed as he smiled. “Well we did make a bet a while ago over who would be the better sword, and well, it looks like I win.”

“That’s unfair. You both have different strengths,” Patton chided. “Dee is better with speed and flexibility, and Roman you can switch modes!”

Virgil rolled his eyes and ignored the urge to tell Dee to make him shut up because though he wouldn’t admit it, he was just as excited. But he also equally nervous. 

“You are all quite loud this early in the morning.”

Virgil looked up in surprise as Logan sat down beside him. “You’re later than usual.”

Logan sent a glare to his partner who hadn’t seemed to notice. “I am due to certain unapologetic someone.”

“I will never understand how you ended up with Remus.”

“I suppose it’s as the saying goes, opposites attract? So, how was your evening Virgil?”

“Pretty good,” Virgil nodded. “Actually Dee and I-”

“I’m going to be a Death Scythe!” Dee interrupted. 

Logan raised an eyebrow unimpressed, “That is the goal of all the weapons in this school, yes.”

“We got the ninety-nineth kishin egg yesterday,” Virgil explained. “So next is...”

“The witch’s soul.”

“Right. We also learned there’s a witch not to far away named Remy. So hopefully Dee will be the newest Death Scythe.”

“And we’re rooting for you guys!” Patton cheered despite Roman’s almost pitiful expression. 

Logan adjusted his glasses a few times before he spoke, “...Remy? Then I ask that you both proceed with caution?” 

Virgil frowned suddenly feeling more worried than moments before, “You don’t think we can handle it?”

“He thinks that the witch will turn you both into thousands of tiny pieces which he’ll use for potions,” Remus tossed in. 

“That is not at all what I was going to say.”

“Or maybe he’ll save you both as sacrifices for spells! Blood of a virgin is an important thing.”

Logan gave a groan as he rubbed at his temple, “I was going to say that reports say that something about Remy is a bit  _ off _ . Thus you should exercise caution.”

  
  


“Ah yes we should be cautious of the witch living in a fucking pumpkin on the edge of Death City.”

Virgil shrugged, his eyes not leaving the large vegetable as he wondered what sort of wards could cover the place. “We should just stake it out today. Come back to attack tomorrow.”

“Or we could just go in that open window,” Dee suggested pointing as he did. 

“No! We are  _ not _ sneaking into a witch’s inner sanctum!”

“Then how else do you expect to fight him?”

Virgil paused, he had planned out multiple possible attacks but all of which involved fighting the witch outside his own home. “We need to lure him out.”

“How?”

Virgil blinked, mentally running through the plans in his head but apparently that had been the kissing detail which had been bothering him all day. Finally he gave a shrug, “By... knocking?”

Dee didn’t reply initially as he began to climb a tree. “I’m going in the window,” he said finally. “You knock and tell me how that goes.”

Virgil opened his mouth to complain, but Dee was already in the window. He swallowed listening intently for any signs of distress, before he took a deep breath and climbed the tree. His heart was pounding almost painfully in his chest- and it only increased as he pulled himself up higher. There should be sound. 

And yet inside was nothing but silence. If Dee has encountered the witch there should be sounds of fighting, or even if the witch  _ wasn’t _ there, Dee should be poking his head out to call for Virgil to go faster. There should be something  _ anything _ . At least if Dee would scream, Virgil would know that he was alive. 

As he touched the windowsill Virgil took a breath to prepare himself for what could be inside. He was prepared for the worst. For literally anything. 

Anything except Dee standing frozen at the sight of a naked man who was standing there with a frown. Virgil felt his cheeks heat up as he tried to force himself to function. 

“ _Y-you’re_ _Remy?”_

The man nodded once a casual expression on his face, “Oh there’s two of you? Shark teeth here is a tad cuter though.”

Virgil tried his best not to be offended as he moved to stand beside his partner, “Sorry to catch you like- like  _ this _ , but your soul is ours!”

He liked to think that the words were more confident than they came out, as Virgil tried to look basically everywhere but at the witch. It also wasn’t helpful that Dee hadn’t used that perfect moment to switch to his weapon form. 

“ _ Dee _ !” He hissed. “We kind of need to fight the witch!”

Remy looked amused, “Witch? No need to censor yourself.”

Dee seemed to be finally shaken from his stupor as he blinked, “Oh yeah.” With nothing more said he transformed and Virgil felt the familiar weight of the silvery green rapier that was Dee in his hand. 

He held Dee in front of him trying to focus on what he was here to do, not how the witch was distracting him. But thankfully the witch seemed to understand the concept of a fight as that’s when he snapped once and he was (thankfully) clothed. He wore a simple pair of jeans, shirt, and a leather jacket, but with that he also has donned a witch’s hat (and a pair of sunglasses?).

“Let’s get this over with,” he smiled raising a hand. “Pumpkin, pum- pumpkin...”

Virgil released a breath ready for the attack, letting his opponent attack first to observe better understand. 

“Halloween canon!”

Unfortunately all Virgil observed was the sensation of being blasted backwards out the wall and flying backwards until he hit a tree and promptly fell to the ground. 

“Should’ve attacked first,” Dee commented unhelpfully as he leaned over him. 

Virgil gave his partner a glare as he pulled himself to his feet unsteadily. “You could’ve caught me.”

Dee gave a shrug and looked back to the pumpkin- with its now Virgil sized hole. “Round two?”

Virgil nodded, “Ready when you are.”

Dee nodded once and transformed again, “This time avoid that attack.”

“I will stab you into a rock.”

~~~~

“How are they doing?” Emilie asked worriedly entering the room. 

“They’re struggling,” Thomas admitted as he watched Virgil get hit by a blast for what must've been the third time now. “To be honest I’m not sure if they’ll win.”

Emilie gave a noise of distress drawing Thomas’s attention away from the mirror in front of him. 

“Listen,” Thomas started. “I’ve seen many many  _ many  _ students loose their lives again a witch-” at Emilie’s eyes widening Thomas quickly gave a cough and tried to refocus on the point. “Virgil’s not going to be one of them!” 

“You think so?”

Thomas nodded with a slight sigh of relief, “Yeah. He may not win this fight, and he may be left with some broken bones but he’ll be alive.”

“How many broken bones?”

“Um... Not too many?” Wow he was bad at this. “He’ll be okay. He’s a tough kid.”

“He’s still-” Thomas watched as the death scythe gave a visible cringe as Virgil narrowly dodged a blast, and from here they could see where a hole had been singled into Virgil’s patchwork cloak. “Still a kid.”

“But he’s a capable one. How many kishin eggs have they collected?”

“I know I know,” Emilie sighed sitting down to watch. “It’s just the father in me that worries. You’d be the same if Logan was out there.”

Thomas gave an awkward shrug in reply, “ I think Logan would disown himself if he ever found out I was worried about him in a fight. He’d probably add it to the pile of reasons he thinks he’s not good enough to be shinigami.”

“Isn’t he doing well though? They’ve finally gotten a few kishin eggs, right?”

“Lo is pushing himself to perfect soul resonance with Remus and they’re not exactly getting results. He’s just too hard on himself. Plenty of students can’t. But I’m sure he’ll gain confidence in himself soon enough. Just like I’m sure Virgil will finally come round to talking to you.”

Thomas has meant it on an uplifting note, but Emilie only seemed to look more upset as he watched the fight. He gave a sigh himself and redirected his attention to his students, one thing at a time. 

~~~~

Virgil tried to control his breathing as he sprinted down the city street. It had taken far too much time, but it seemed he had finally lured Remy out of his comfort zone. Unfortunately however, Remy was floating out Virgil’s reach. 

He gave a quick turn right, barely dodging a blast as he started down another street. Virgil was silently thankful that no civilians were around to get hurt, but as he ran toward a parked car and idea came to mind. He ran up the car hood and stood on the roof Dee in hand as he waited for Remy to close in. 

“I just want the sword!” The witch complained as he came closer. “Come on, I’m sure he’d be happier with me anyway. Right babe?” He purred. 

Virgil ignored him launching himself into the air and thrusting his sword forward. It was enough to make contact and shove Remy off the pumpkin and down toward the ground, but not enough to do much else. 

The witch gave a groan as he pulled himself up, and he gave a glare as he pulled off his sunglasses and tossed them to the side. “I guess I’ll just kill you then. But I’ll give the pretty sword one more chance to join me and live.”

“Oh shut up!” Virgil shouted at him his anger rising. “You can’t just  _ take _ my partner!”

Remy seemed pleased with getting under his skin, “That’s up to him, no?”

Virgil grit his teeth, “Fine! Tell him Dee!”

Dee didn’t respond, but Virgil’s grip was forced to be released on the hilt as Dee’s human form moved to stand in front of him. 

“Dee?” Virgil asked quietly. 

“He makes a good point,” Dee shrugged as he put his hands in his pockets. 

“And what point is that?”

“Living? The way I see it, as long as I’m your sword, we can’t win this fight. If I go with him at least I won’t die.”

Virgil felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. 

“So you’re just going to throw everything away? Just like that?”

Dee moved closer to stand by Remy’s side. “Surviving and hanging with a witch? Way better than dying with you... Better than being around you in general.”

“Leave then!” Virgil shouted taking a step forward. “Leave like everyone always does! Go ahead and break your promise!”

“You broke a promise? I need some popcorn,” Remy smiled leaning on Dee’s shoulder. 

Virgil found himself taking another step forward as he glared at witch before looking to Dee. “When my mom left, you swore you’d  _ always _ stay by my side as my partner.”

Dee gave a shrug “Did you expect something else? I’ve been a liar since birth. So what are you going to do about it?” He reached out a hand mockingly. “Come on, hit me!”

Virgil moved close enough and set his hand in Dee’s. There was a short pause in which he basked in the radiance of Dee’s smirk before he let his human form go, and embraced his scythe form. 

He heard Remy open his mouth to question in response, but Dee had already pulled Virgil’s blade through. 

“You’re acting has gotten a lot better,” Dee praised as Virgil turned back to him human form. 

Virgil shrugged, “I’m friends with Roman. It’s a consequence.”

Dee laughed and looked to where the dust had settled to reveal the purple soul-  _ souls? _

“There’s two?” Virgil asked in confusion. 

“Hell yes!” Dee cheered grabbing them both before he offered one to Virgil. “Now we can both become Death Scythes at once!”

Virgil took the offered soul skeptically. “Why would a witch have  _ two _ souls?”

“Stop thinking so loud. Bottoms up?”

Virgil couldn’t help but smile as he nodded, “Bottoms up.” He took a deep breath before putting it on his tongue, then vaguely aware of his oddly sweeter taste than most kishin eggs, he swallowed whole like a pill. 

For a moment he felt nothing. 

And then he felt  _ everything _ . 

He could feel the air, his heart, the power coursing through his veins- and then  _ nothing _ . 

He blinked and looked to Dee who looked as confused before a laugh hit his ears. He turned to see a black cat sitting a few feet away, a witch’s hat on its head. “What?” The cat asked. “Do I not taste good?”

Virgil’s brain wasn’t capable of a functioning response, so all he could do was watch as in a plume of smoke the cat vanished and Remy took its place. 

“You’re a cat,” Dee stated. “Ass! You tricked us!”

“ _ I _ never said I was a witch,” he shrugged with a smile. 

“Damnit now we need to find more witches.”

Remy gave a bit of laugh which only caused Dee’s scowl deepened. “What?”

“Oh nothing babe,” he purred. “I’m just a cat with multiple lives, and now I’m down two of them. So you took two of my lives... I took your opportunity to become Death Scythes.” He gave a smirk. “I think it’s a fair trade.”

“What are you-”

“We fucked up,” Virgil realized as devastation set in. “The rule is, if you mess up on your last soul... you have to start over. We just lost  _ one hundred and ninety eight _ kishin eggs... we fucked up.”

Dee shook his head in disbelief, “No,  _ no.  _ We- we can um- we can-”

“We fucked up,” Virgil said again.  _ “We fucked up.” _

_ Fuck _ . 


	2. Episode Two: Persistence and Resonance

**Episode Two: Persistence and Resonance**

  
  


“How long are you gonna poke him?” Roman asked, watching his brother. 

Remus didn’t look away from where he was squatting to continuously poke at Virgil’s crumpled form with a stick, “Why? Did you want a turn?”

Roman rolled his eyes and moved closer to kick Virgil lightly in the leg, “Get up Roadkill, we got class.”

“Can’t you see I’m waiting to get run over by a car?” Virgil groaned not lifting his head from the pavement. 

Roman’s eyebrows scrunched into confusion, “This is a pedestrian only street.”

“That dumb father of mine picked me up and moved me here.”

“Ah yes... how  _ terrible _ of him. But why are you- dammit Remus stop poking him.”

“I’m trying to find the switch that turns him on.”

“....Dare I ask what you mean by that?”

When his twin didn’t respond Roman turned his attention back to Virgil on the ground, “So... why are you waiting for non existent cars?”

Virgil gave a sigh, “Dee and I fucked up... we lost  _ all  _ our kishin eggs. Now, we  _ both _ have to start over.”

“Oh shit- uh wow... I don’t know what to tell you. Where’s my meister? He’s better at these things.”

“Where’s Dee?” Remus asked. “Can I poke him too?”

“Living in denial,” Virgil replied. 

Roman gave a sigh, “Look I’m sorry man, but laying here won’t help. You need to start getting more souls.”

“But-” Virgil’s sentence was cut off as he gave an inhuman screech and scrambled up. “Remus what the  _ fuck _ ?!”

Remus smirked triumphantly, “Found it!”

~~~~

“I feel really bad for them. Maybe we should do something to cheer them up?”

“What you got in mind Padre?” 

Patton paused before his eyes lit up with an idea in his adorable way, “A potluck! I can cook a bit and Virgil loves baking so I’m sure when he hears he’ll cheer up at the idea. And Dee just loves food period.”

Roman nodded in thought, “That sounds good. I can’t cook anything so I will happily be your taste tester.”

“We can have them over our place! We kept putting off having people over.”

Roman frowned slightly thinking of the cleaning he’d have to do to get ready, but Patton’s mood was infectious. “Maybe this weekend? We can start planning when we get home?”

“Perfect! Let’s hurry and finish up this job!”

To be completely honest Roman was not looking forward to this job. 

According to the request it had been to stop a large amount of angry golem puppet things which had blocked off a section of a small rural town. And yes while that was an important thing, because they were blocking the yada yada yada, Roman still didn’t want to do it. 

Because he’s a  _ sword _ . 

And to his understanding, golems were  _ rocks _ . 

As everyone knows... rock  _ always _ beat scissors. 

But it had been Patton’s turn to choose, so all he could do was trust in his meister. But he really hoped that for  _ once _ scissors could win. 

  
  


Scissors were not winning. 

Nope nope nope not at all. 

Now it’s important to note that as a demon weapon Roman had been in many a fights and had been slammed into many people, other weapons, things but things like bricks? Stones? Rocks? 

They felt the worst. 

There was no give to them. Punch a person and they move too, you might get some slight damage to your knuckles but the other person takes the brunt. Punch a boulder and you walk away with a broken hand while the boulder silently laughs like the bastard it is. 

The golems were giant. Probably close to ten feet tall, and they were probably one Roman wide. Now Roman wasn’t exactly sure what they could eat, or if they did, but he was sure he could fit in one their stomachs. 

He gave a swallow as he watched as the last one moved into place successfully surrounding them. “Shit.”

“Roman,” Patton chided. 

“Later,” he defended. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take! Those things aren’t even chipping!” And yet he felt himself dulling with each blow. 

“There’s got to be a weak point... it’s probably on the underside so they can defend it.”

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“It’ll be fine Roman,” Patton promised backing up  _ closer to the golems.  _ “Dagger Mode.”

“Right!” He quickly let his form change as Patton began sprinting forward and Roman could only chant pleads of mercy as Patton dropped to slide underneath the golem. 

The moment he did Roman could feel the impact reverberates throughout his body. Just like the rest of the golems there was once again no give, only a broken hand. 

Patton slid out the otherside from beneath the golem and rolled to his feet as the golems once again moved to try to surround them. “I need to get on it.”

_ “On it?”  _

“Long sword!”

Roman changed once more and he could only watch in worry for his meister as Patton ran for the creatures again but this time before reaching them Roman felt as he stabbed into the ground and Patton used the momentum to fling himself upwards and forwards toward the nearest golem his hand outstretched to touch it. 

“ _ Soul Menace!” _

For a moment Roman thought that they had won, because Patton was strong. He was the only meister in their year who was able to use his wavelength as a weapon. So they  _ should’ve _ won. But soul wavelengths, can only affect things with _ souls _ . 

But upon being touched by Patton’s attack the golem hadn’t even flinched. Roman felt his panic rise as Patton’s eyes widened in confusion before a large hand slammed into his body and sent him flying back. 

Roman was running before he knew he was. “ _ Patton _ !”

His meister has been flung through multiple trees snapping them as he went before falling to crumpled heap. 

Roman stared at his bloody form, he wasn’t even entirely sure he knew how to breathe anymore. He was running on autopilot. He pulled Patton to his feet a swung an arm over his shoulder as he looked for the best way to retreat from the oncoming golems. 

Shit this was a bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. _Bad idea_. 

Rock always beats scissors. 

_ Always _ . 

He ran best he could pulling his semiconscious friend with him. He’d get Patton to safety no matter what. He was a weapon that was his job. He would-

“Resonance.”

Roman’s spiraling mind was brought back to the present as Patton held his own weight up and pushed off of Roman. “Resonance,” he said again. 

“Do you see what kind of shape you’re in?” Roman shouted at him in disbelief. “We need to get out of here!”

Patton gave a slight smile despite the blood on his forehead and the crack I’m his glasses. “We can’t get out of here unless we do kiddo. So losing isn’t an option. Trust me on this, okay?”

Roman wanted to shout at him to stop being ridiculous, but in the end he transformed back to his weapon form. He’d trust Patton. It had never led him astray before. 

The golems were closing in on all sides once more but Roman could only give a deep breath as he focused on what he was about to do.

_ “Soul Resonance!” _

~~~~

“Dee you’ve been sitting and staring at this for hours now. You are aware you’ve been missing classes correct?”

“Logan you’re good with numbers,” was Dee’s reply as he stared up at the mission board. “Which of these are the best and in what order so Virgil and I can catch back up to where we were?”

Logan’s eyes scanned for a moment before he frowned, “I’m not going to plan out your schedule for you.”

Dee paused as he tried to debate how to get the young death god on his side, “Can you just pick  _ three _ for me?”

Logan’s face gave a twitch of annoyance but even so his eyes went back to the board. 

“I heard a rumor!” Remus announced making himself known. “It's that you and Virgie are joining us for remedial lessons!”

“That can’t be true,” Dee replied quickly. “Remedial lessons are only for those pathetic people have basically zero souls like you two! And Virgil and I...” he trailed off deflating as he did. “Virgil and I fucked that up...  _ shit _ , we really do have remedial lessons.”

“We have six,” came Logan’s serious voice. 

Dee looked up at him with an apologetic smile, “So... you were picking for me?”

Logan was already walking away. 

“Sorry!”

~~~~

If it didn’t take so much out of him Roman would be addicted to resonating with Patton. In those moments they were truly one and they completely and utterly understood each other. They were fully in sync, they were one. 

And if that wasn’t amazing enough, the power felt good too. 

_ “Plasma.” _

Roman was already transforming before the word had left Patton’s mouth. 

He felt like pure energy. Or well he was technically, but feeling his very existence vibrating with the world was just as amazing. 

And for a split moment he felt utterly calm, and then Patton swung. 

When he did Roman reached out as far as he could and when he did was rewarded with each of them slicing in half. 

Collapsing with a loud bangs that echoed around them. 

Whomever had made the golems knew they were gone now. 

“Are you alright?” Roman asked breathing heavily as he came back to his human form. 

Patton nodded with a weary smile, “Let’s find out who’s behind this quickly and go home.”

“They better be weaker than those-”

“ _ You killed them!” _

Roman’s eyebrows knit in confusion at the childlike voice which had hit his ears. He was only confused further as he turned around to see a small boy looking upset from where he sit floating on a broom. 

But possibly most striking of all was the witch’s hat sitting on his head. 

“You killed my golems!” The boy complained. 

“They tried to kill us,” Roman replied. 

“Now I gotta make more.”

“ _ No _ _!_ You’ve done enough kid!”

“My name is Gavin,” was the kids reply. “And you ruined my golems!”

“Why did you make them?” Patton asked the young witch with a friendly smile. 

“I’m not big enough to be a good witch yet,” Gavin confessed kicking his legs from where he sat on his broom. “So I made the rock golems to protect me from people like  _ you _ .”

“Like us?”

“ _ Dumb butts _ .” 

“Kid, I am older than you!” Roman yelled at him. 

The boy lowered himself to the ground and began to dig into the dirt, “You’re still a dumb butt.”

“Do you think we could put a witch’s soul on ice?” Roman asked glancing at Patton. “How long do you think it’s shelf life is?”

“That’s not funny Roman,” Patton chided. “He’s a child.”

“He’s a  _ witch _ . We are supposed to  _ kill _ witches.”

“You really want to kill a kid?”

Roman glanced back to where Gavin had made a small ball of dirt, but after a moment of him speaking it began to expand and solidify into a growing boulder. “No,  _ but _ this may be our easiest chance.”

“No Roman.”

“You’re from an assassin clan!”

“No,” Patton stayed firmly pushing himself off of Roman to stand on his own. He swayed as he walked toward the young witch and finally knelt before him and the boulder which was now about the size of a car. “Can you and I make a little deal?”

The boy’s look was skeptical, “What?”

“You move somewhere else with your golems, and we make sure people leave you alone for a while?”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because wouldn’t it be more fair for you to grow up and then fight us with all the magic you have?”

“But you almost died fighting my golems. I could just make more.”

Roman couldn’t exactly fault that logic. 

“That’s true,” Patton nodded. “But we only came here because the villagers were scared. Even if you beat us more people will come after you, understand?”

The boy gave an exaggerated huff as he climbed on top of the large rock he had made, “ _ Fine _ .”

Roman took this as a cue to step forward and once again help his meister to his feet. “Stay out of trouble I guess.”

“You’re still a dumb butt.”

“Patton are  _ sure _ ?”

Gavin didn’t give much more time for them to consider it as the rock he sat on sprouted limbs and a tail and head until a giant armadillo was formed. And once it had, it was scampering off to who knows where. 

“I don’t think Death will be happy,” Roman commented as they walked back towards the town. “But I think we did the right thing- I think  _ you _ did the right thing.”

Patton gave him a grade A smile in response, “Let’s head home. We’ve got a party to plan!”


End file.
